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【明報專訊】死亡是人生必經階段,但談死是社會的禁忌,很多人面對死亡時會不知所措,甚至束手無策。談「死」這個難題,不但一般市民大眾不知如何面對,有時專業人士也未必能夠恰當地處理。當生命因疾病的折磨而來到尾聲的時候,我們又真的懂得開口討論嗎?<\/p>\n

■個案一﹕主診醫生不談死 錯失完成心願時間<\/p>\n

三十多歲的陳女士患有腸癌,雖然以手術切除部分腸臟,可惜身體狀况未見好轉。腸癌影響消化能力,令身體吸收不到營養。陳女士病情每况愈下,經常出入醫院。身為兩子之母,陳女士不想孩子看見自己辛苦難看的樣子,畢竟孩子們也不到十歲。可是她的身體一天比一天虛弱,主診醫生嘗試向她解釋病况,卻從不正面提及病情已達晚期。<\/p>\n

時間無多才知 難接受<\/p>\n

及後,陳女士被轉介到紓緩治療科,當紓緩治療科醫生告訴她餘下日子不多時,還有一絲希望的她立刻崩潰。陳女士完全不能接受自己的生命已經接近盡頭,心中亦怪責主診醫生為什麼一直沒有跟她坦誠討論。對於眼前這位剛認識的醫生的說話,她不想去相信,身旁的丈夫亦不懂反應。這種反應可以理解;當一個重要的信息在毫無預兆下出現,誰也沒法接受。<\/p>\n

經過一晚的沉澱,陳女士終能平靜下來,但當她想到自己各樣未完的心願,心裏十分難過,因為生命時間已經不多。最後她選擇了先回家好好告訴孩子們自己的情况,然後再到療養院。丈夫每天來陪伴。她也參與了一些活動,努力做一些特別的紀念物品留給兒子。<\/p>\n

假如時光可以倒流,病人會希望早一點知道一切,因為能做到的可以更多。可是當初有誰肯主動談死,誰能接受死亡逼近的事實?大家心裏反而認為延遲一天開口,生命就好像多了一天。學習如何討論死亡話題是必須的。當初主診醫生不懂開口,沒有告訴陳女士真相,直到由一位素未謀面的醫生告訴實情時,情况不但不理想,還延後了病人知道事實的時機。當知道死亡已經不遠矣,我們更應該爭取機會坦誠溝通,以有限的時間去完成心願。<\/p>\n

■個案二﹕自主最後旅程 與家人互動享時光<\/p>\n

「孝」這一個字,每人都有不同演繹方法。子女面對生病的父母,有的因以前沒有珍惜相處時光而感到遺憾,要求醫生盡力搶救,希望病者活多一天;有的則以為不要讓父母知道病情,就會令他們開心過每一日。可是,父母亦應該擁有自己生命及處理疾病的自主權,他們往往希望了解自己的狀况,在餘下日子活得更有意義,而不是漫無目的躺在病牀上度日,無法交代心願或身後事。<\/p>\n

八十歲的王伯伯,一生充滿歡樂,兒孫成群,閒時修理家具電器,享受家庭之樂。可是他患有心臟衰竭,病况到了中後期時,經常出入醫院。王伯伯有時需要用正壓呼吸機協助呼吸,隨病况慢慢變差,使用儀器的時間愈來愈頻密。有一次醫生告訴王伯伯的家人,伯伯的病情轉差,可是兒女擔心伯伯接受不到事實而情緒低落,希望醫生保守秘密。醫生明白家人的心情,但提議家人先詢問王伯伯是否想知道自己的病况才決定做法,家人亦同意醫生說法。<\/p>\n

王伯伯是一個對於自己的生活很有主見的人,希望了解自己的情况,並計劃如何度過餘下的日子。對一些病人來說,使用正壓呼吸機不是一種舒適的治療,擔心佩戴之後,未能隨時隨地暢所欲言。王伯伯知道自己的狀况,決定用鼻管方式吸入氧氣,因為在他心中最重要的事情,就是與家人分享有趣的事。儀器雖然能延長生命,但卻帶來痛苦,不能與家人正常溝通。王伯伯認為有質素的生活就是能與家人互動,做自己想做的事。即使生命不能延長,王伯伯也決定不使用正壓呼吸機,只接受紓緩治療。王伯伯在人生的最後階段,雖然身處療養院,但有家人的陪伴,共聚最美的時光,離世時也顯得很安詳。<\/p>\n

隱瞞病情就是盡孝道?<\/p>\n

子女有時擔心父母知道真實病情後,會情緒低落,所以選擇隱瞞病情,這是不是盡孝道呢?與父母坦誠溝通後,能完成父母的心願,會否是較好的選擇?如果當初家人隱瞞王伯伯的病情,沒有與他討論過離世前的意願,王伯伯未必能安詳地離世。「賽馬會安寧頌」就是希望加強醫護人員、病人、家屬三方面的溝通,提升病人的生活質素,提供更適切的醫療服務。<\/p>\n

文:盧時楨醫生(香港中文大學賽馬會老年學研究所賽馬會安寧頌計劃顧問)<\/p>\n

圖:設計圖片<\/p>\n

編輯:梁小玲<\/p>\n

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