{"id":5305,"date":"2016-10-11T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-10-10T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/?guid=3776f7e8c63efb2a53da1a0ccae75684"},"modified":"2018-08-21T17:31:36","modified_gmt":"2018-08-21T09:31:36","slug":"better-sex%ef%bc%9a%e6%88%91%e6%84%9b%e4%bd%a0%ef%bc%8c%e4%bd%86%e5%b0%8d%e4%bd%a0%e6%b2%92%e6%80%a7%e6%85%be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/better-sex%ef%bc%9a%e6%88%91%e6%84%9b%e4%bd%a0%ef%bc%8c%e4%bd%86%e5%b0%8d%e4%bd%a0%e6%b2%92%e6%80%a7%e6%85%be\/","title":{"rendered":"\u3010\u6027\u672c\u5584\u3011Better Sex\uff1a\u6211\u611b\u4f60\uff0c\u4f46\u5c0d\u4f60\u6c92\u6027\u617e"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u89aa\u5bc6\u611b\u64ab\u63d0\u5347\u6fc0\u60c5<\/p>\n

\u7576\u7136\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4f9d\u5faa\u516d\u4e03\u5341\u5e74\u4ee3Masters and Johnson\u7684\u50b3\u7d71\u4eba\u985e\u6027\u5468\u671f\u53cd\u61c9\u7684\u6846\u67b6\uff0c\u8eab\u9ad4\u4e92\u52d5\u4e00\u5b9a\u8981\u5f9e\u6027\u617e\u958b\u59cb\uff1b\u5176\u5be6Rosemary Basson\u572821\u4e16\u7d00\u63d0\u51fa\u7684\u5973\u6027\u6027\u5468\u671f\u53cd\u61c9\uff0c\u662f\u4ee5\u60c5\u611f\u89aa\u5bc6\u70ba\u4e3b\u5c0e\u3002\u9019\u7a2e\u5973\u6027\u6027\u5468\u671f\u7406\u8ad6\u5f37\u8abf\uff0c\u8eab\u9ad4\u4e92\u52d5\u59cb\u65bc\u6211\u5011\u662f\u5426\u9858\u610f\u8207\u4f34\u4fb6\u7dad\u6301\u89aa\u5bc6\u611f\uff0c\u7e7c\u800c\u63a5\u53d7\u6027\u523a\u6fc0\uff0c\u7e7c\u800c\u6709\u6027\u8208\u596e\uff0c\u518d\u6709\u6027\u617e\u53ca\u6109\u6085\u3002\u6027\u617e\u5728\u611b\u4fb6\u8eab\u9ad4\u4e92\u52d5\u7684\u89d2\u8272\u53ef\u4ee5\u653e\u5728\u6027\u5468\u671f\u53cd\u61c9\u5f88\u5f8c\u7684\u4f4d\u7f6e\uff0c\u800c\u4e0d\u662f\u8d77\u9996\u7684\u4f4d\u7f6e\u3002<\/p>\n

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seaelegant@gmail.com<\/a><\/p>\n

\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/_22YC003_.jpg;<\/inline><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

【明報專訊】上幾回探討了香港人的性問題。接下來以個案分享，探索如何建立美好的親密關係。<\/p>\n

昨天，一名內地教授發信息分享她的個案。一個年輕女子在美國念書，認識了一個很要好的美國男朋友，她很喜歡、很愛他；但就是對他沒有性慾，沒有激情，這使她感到迷惘和着急，因為男朋友已經向她說明，希望她多點熱情，多點主動，可是她無法勉强自己對男朋友產生激情。這問題如何解決呢？<\/p>\n

身體未習慣赤裸相對<\/p>\n

其實，不少愛侶都會碰上這種情形。因為在選擇男女朋友時，不一定全由激情而起，不是因為身體化學反應而起，卻往往是因為其他心理或社會因素而開始一段感情。例如﹕對方樣子俊美討好，對方對自己很體貼細心，對方很尊重疼愛自己，對方很關心自己及家人，對方人品性格很好等。這些因素都可能贏得芳心，但不代表女性會對對方有性慾。<\/p>\n

我曾經訪問一名太太，她和丈夫戀愛五年才結婚，最欣賞丈夫對她的關懷和細心，但洞房之夜面對赤裸的丈夫，卻覺得像陌生人。她覺得經營婚姻，就像公司合併一樣，以前各自經營人生，現在要合併經營，感到很不習慣，以前沒有赤裸面對，現在不但要赤裸而且還得性交，感到很不熟悉，不知所措。這個例子可以看到，並非所有感情戀愛都有婚前性生活，戀愛婚姻對很多女性來說，不一定是浪漫為主，現實的考慮佔了很重要的部分。當身體互動需要心神的糅合時，有些女性才發現，自己的身體並不一定「認同」自己思想，身體也還沒有做好準備，要與他人結合。<\/p>\n

這種情况下，要先問清楚女方是否真的選擇了對方，或是有何地方不滿意對方而有所壓抑；如果並沒上述心理因素，就可以從身體練習入手，多做夫婦間的親密愛撫，淡化性交在性生活的中心地位，多些情感交流，身體的觸電感及伴侶身體互動的欲望，是可以進一步開展。<\/p>\n

親密愛撫提升激情<\/p>\n

當然，如果依循六七十年代Masters and Johnson的傳統人類性周期反應的框架，身體互動一定要從性慾開始；其實Rosemary Basson在21世紀提出的女性性周期反應，是以情感親密為主導。這種女性性周期理論強調，身體互動始於我們是否願意與伴侶維持親密感，繼而接受性刺激，繼而有性興奮，再有性慾及愉悅。性慾在愛侶身體互動的角色可以放在性周期反應很後的位置，而不是起首的位置。<\/p>\n

女性性慾的複雜性，代表着女性對生活和感情的要求，也代表着性、情感與生活的結合。但我們總會有一種誤解，以為男性性慾就只是陽具勃起與否那麼間單，以為「偉哥」可以輕鬆解決男性的性障礙，其實很多男性個案的故事，也呈現了和一般女性對身體互動一樣的需求條件﹕有細膩親密的情感共融。<\/p>\n

男女身體結構很不同，故性反應的形式也可以不同；但作為人，對於愛、對於美好親密關係及對美好生命的嚮往，應該是共通。性不止是生物反應，而是愛、是生命也是生活！我們不一定要盲目追求性的激情，但透過追求愛、溝通及生活共融時，激情又可以自然而生！<\/p>\n

文：香港性教育研究及治療專業協會副會長 吳海雅<\/p>\n

seaelegant@gmail.com<\/a><\/p>\n

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