{"id":5025,"date":"2016-12-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-26T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/?guid=bbb80003c9410315201fcdbe3ec238b9"},"modified":"2018-08-21T15:39:15","modified_gmt":"2018-08-21T07:39:15","slug":"better-sex%ef%bc%9a%e7%94%b7%e4%ba%ba%e4%b8%8d%e4%b8%80%e5%ae%9a%e6%98%af%e6%80%a7%e6%85%be%e4%b8%bb%e5%b0%8e","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/better-sex%ef%bc%9a%e7%94%b7%e4%ba%ba%e4%b8%8d%e4%b8%80%e5%ae%9a%e6%98%af%e6%80%a7%e6%85%be%e4%b8%bb%e5%b0%8e\/","title":{"rendered":"\u3010\u6027\u672c\u5584\u3011Better Sex\uff1a\u7537\u4eba\u4e0d\u4e00\u5b9a\u662f\u6027\u617e\u4e3b\u5c0e"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u3010\u660e\u5831\u5c08\u8a0a\u3011\u6700\u8fd1\u898b\u5169\u540d\u7537\u6027\u500b\u6848\uff0c\u90fd\u5f88\u75bc\u611b\u4f34\u4fb6\uff0c\u4f46\u5169\u4eba\u90fd\u56e0\u70ba\u672a\u80fd\u548c\u4f34\u4fb6\u6027\u4ea4\u800c\u5c0b\u6c42\u5354\u52a9\u3002\u4e00\u5c0d\u662f\u7d50\u5a5a\u4e03\u5e74\u7684\u592b\u5a66\uff0c\u4e00\u5c0d\u662f\u6200\u611b\u4e94\u5e74\u6e96\u5099\u7d50\u5a5a\u7684\u60c5\u4fb6\u3002\u5169\u5c0d\u5448\u73fe\u975e\u6027\u617e\u4e3b\u5c0e\u7684\u89aa\u5bc6\u95dc\u4fc2\u3002<\/p>\n

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\u6015\u5f04\u75db\u592a\u592a \u672a\u80fd\u884c\u623f<\/p>\n

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\u6182\u5973\u53cb\u4e0d\u6eff\u6027\u8868\u73fe\u800c\u7126\u616e<\/p>\n

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\u539f\u4f86\u9019\u540d\u7537\u58eb\u5f88\u611b\u5f88\u611b\u672a\u5a5a\u59bb\uff0c\u975e\u5e38\u73cd\u60dc\u9019\u6bb5\u95dc\u4fc2\uff0c\u4ed6\u8aaa\u4eba\u751f\u80fd\u5f97\u5230\u9019\u7a2e\u60c5\u611f\u7684\u89aa\u5bc6\uff0c\u5df2\u7d93\u5f88\u8db3\u5920\u3002\u4ed6\u5f62\u5bb9\u8aaa\ufe55\u300c\u9019\u5c31\u662f\u6211\u4eba\u751f\u60f3\u8981\u7684\u611f\u60c5\uff01\u300d\uff08This intimate relationship is what I want for my life\uff09\u9762\u8ac7\u904e\u7a0b\u4e2d\u8b93\u4ed6\u586b\u5beb\u554f\u5377\uff0c\u7d50\u679c\u767c\u73fe\uff0c\u4ed6\u8207\u5973\u53cb\u4e00\u8d77\u6642\u6709\u56b4\u91cd\u7684\u6027\u7126\u616e\u611f\u3002\u6700\u5927\u7684\u539f\u56e0\u662f\u751f\u6015\u4ed6\u5011\u7f8e\u597d\u7684\u611f\u60c5\u56e0\u70ba\u6709\u4e86\u6027\u751f\u6d3b\u800c\u7834\u58de\uff0c\u6015\u5973\u53cb\u4e0d\u6eff\u610f\u4ed6\u7684\u6027\u8868\u73fe\u800c\u5206\u624b\u3002\u96d6\u7136\u4ed6\u77e5\u9053\u9019\u4e0d\u7406\u6027\uff0c\u4f46\u6c92\u6cd5\u7a81\u7834\u9019\u7a2e\u60f3\u6cd5\u3002\u4ed6\u5f88\u5e0c\u671b\u548c\u5973\u53cb\u7d50\u5a5a\uff0c\u4f46\u5973\u53cb\u8aaa\u8981\u770b\u770b\u662f\u5426\u53ef\u4ee5\u6027\u4ea4\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u5979\u5e0c\u671b\u751f\u5c0f\u5b69\u3002<\/p>\n

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\u6587\uff1a\u5433\u6d77\u96c5<\/p>\n

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【明報專訊】最近見兩名男性個案，都很疼愛伴侶，但兩人都因為未能和伴侶性交而尋求協助。一對是結婚七年的夫婦，一對是戀愛五年準備結婚的情侶。兩對呈現非性慾主導的親密關係。<\/p>\n

先談夫婦的個案。這名先生一直沒有和太太成功性交，但已經有一個六歲兒子，是體外射精而有的。他們打算生第二胎，但因無法成功性交而求助。夫婦雙方對性交都有疑問，男的一直在問何以女性陰道那麼小，害怕不能進入，故未進入就軟化了；女的並不是很抗拒先生進入，但如果先生嘗試進入，她又因疼痛而大叫。<\/p>\n

怕弄痛太太 未能行房<\/p>\n

男女都是第一次戀愛就結婚，雙方都沒有性經驗。先生是一名外表溫文的專業人士，受過高等教育。他總是覺得不應該在親密過程中把太太弄痛，非常關顧太太的身體反應，一旦太太大叫，他當然會停下，但無法再勃起。先生照顧太太感覺是值得欣賞，但也得多學學如何在性交前多做愛撫，讓太太的身體做好準備。<\/p>\n

太太說，白天照顧兒子上學、送飯、接下課，還要做家務、照顧家婆，累得晚上只想睡覺，根本沒心思和先生親密。而先生因為體貼太太，也沒多作要求。面對這對夫婦，當然要讓他們了解，身體的互動其實可以趕走白天的壓力，並促進雙方感情。<\/p>\n

這對夫婦需要學習有關陰道的基本性知識，也要做愛撫練習。兩次面談後，稍有進展。從這個案，可以看到有些男士很疼愛伴侶的身體感受，並不會因為一己欲望而強迫伴侶性交，這是可取的態度。<\/p>\n

另外一對情侶，戀愛數年，男是外國人，女是內地人，在外國念書時認識，已經同居數年，但從來沒有性交，女朋友說從來也沒見過男朋友勃起。兩人戀愛主要是擁抱和牽手，男的洗澡也要關門，不喜歡讓女友看見自己沒穿衣服的樣子。身體檢查顯示男的很健康，他每個星期大概有自慰，性幻想是女友或前女友。戀愛過四次的他，過去也曾經有性交經驗，何以對現在的女友，沒有激情感呢？<\/p>\n

憂女友不滿性表現而焦慮<\/p>\n

他對性沒有負面態度，也沒有聖女情意結。女友是非常漂亮，非常能幹的專業人士。他覺得女友很美麗、能幹、有智慧、也很性感，但卻不願意在婚前性交及有過多的身體親熱。怎麼回事呢？<\/p>\n

原來這名男士很愛很愛未婚妻，非常珍惜這段關係，他說人生能得到這種情感的親密，已經很足夠。他形容說﹕「這就是我人生想要的感情！」（This intimate relationship is what I want for my life）面談過程中讓他填寫問卷，結果發現，他與女友一起時有嚴重的性焦慮感。最大的原因是生怕他們美好的感情因為有了性生活而破壞，怕女友不滿意他的性表現而分手。雖然他知道這不理性，但沒法突破這種想法。他很希望和女友結婚，但女友說要看看是否可以性交，因為她希望生小孩。<\/p>\n

男人不一定是性慾主導，這名男士認為感情的親密比性親密更重要。男性可以非常注重感情，我們並不需要把感情和性分開，如果雙方相愛，又怎會介意大家剛開始親密時的不協調呢？又怎會介意大家一起經歷身體互動的磨合呢？<\/p>\n

作者簡介：香港性教育、研究及治療專業協會副會長<\/p>\n

文：吳海雅<\/p>\n

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