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\u8655\u7406\u5b50\u5973\u8ca0\u9762\u60c5\u7dd2\uff0c\u9ea5\u6c38\u63a5\u89e3\u91cb\uff0c\u5fc5\u9808\u8981\u7406\u89e3\u51fa\u73fe\u60c5\u7dd2\u554f\u984c\u7684\u4e3b\u56e0\uff0c\u624d\u80fd\u771f\u6b63\u7d13\u89e3\u554f\u984c\uff0c\u4f46\u5b69\u5b50\u5728\u54ed\u9b27\u4e2d\u9014\uff0c\u5927\u90e8\u5206\u672a\u80fd\u5b8c\u5168\u8868\u9054\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u60f3\u6cd5\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u6700\u5408\u9069\u7684\u6642\u6a5f\u662f\u5728\u4ed6\u5011\u54ed\u9b27\u6f38\u6e1b\u6642\uff0c\u518d\u554f\u4ed6\u56e0\u7531\u3002\u6d3e\u4f4d\u7576\u65e5\u5f15\u81f4\u5b69\u5b50\u60c5\u7dd2\u5931\u63a7\u7684\u539f\u56e0\uff0c\u4f30\u8a08\u6709\u4ee5\u4e0b\u4e09\u7a2e\ufe55<\/p>\n

1. \u6240\u6d3e\u5b78\u6821\u672a\u7b26\u5408\u671f\u671b<\/p>\n

\u89e3\u6c7a\u65b9\u6cd5\ufe55\u9019\u7a2e\u671f\u671b\u5927\u591a\u7531\u7236\u6bcd\u6216\u8eab\u908a\u670b\u53cb\u6240\u52a0\u8af8\u4ed6\u5011\u8eab\u4e0a\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u5fc5\u9808\u7d66\u5c0f\u670b\u53cb\u77e5\u9053\uff0c\u5165\u4e86\u9019\u9593\u4e0d\u7b26\u5408\u671f\u671b\u7684\u5b78\u6821\uff0c\u90fd\u4e00\u6a23\u53ef\u4ee5\u8003\u53d6\u597d\u6210\u7e3e\uff0c\u4ee5\u7d13\u89e3\u4ed6\u5011\u7684\u6182\u616e\u3002<\/p>\n

2. \u672a\u80fd\u8207\u5e7c\u7a1a\u5712\u540c\u5b78\u4e00\u8d77\u5347\u8b80\u540c\u4e00\u5c0f\u5b78<\/p>\n

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3. \u7d50\u679c\u5f15\u81f4\u632b\u6557\u611f<\/p>\n

\u89e3\u6c7a\u65b9\u6cd5\ufe55\u5411\u4ed6\u5011\u89e3\u91cb\u5c0f\u4e00\u6d3e\u4f4d\u53ea\u662f\u4e00\u500b\u914d\u5c0d\u6a5f\u5236\uff0c\u8207\u672c\u4eba\u7684\u80fd\u529b\u7121\u95dc\uff0c\u800c\u65e5\u5f8c\u4ea6\u53ef\u900f\u904e\u5176\u4ed6\u65b9\u6cd5\uff0c\u53bb\u8003\u53d6\u5176\u4ed6\u5b78\u6821\u7684\u5165\u5b78\u8cc7\u683c\uff0c\u6bcb\u9808\u89ba\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u5931\u6557\u3002<\/p>\n

\u653e\u699c\u524d\u8b1b\u89e3\u3000\u505a\u597d\u5fc3\u7406\u6e96\u5099<\/p>\n

\u53e6\u5916\uff0c\u7236\u6bcd\u9664\u4e86\u5728\u6d3e\u4f4d\u5f8c\u597d\u597d\u8655\u7406\u5b69\u5b50\u60c5\u7dd2\uff0c\u9ea5\u6c38\u63a5\u5efa\u8b70\u5728\u6d3e\u4f4d\u7d50\u679c\u516c\u5e03\u524d\uff0c\u5148\u8207\u5b50\u5973\u6e9d\u901a\uff0c\u5206\u5225\u8b1b\u89e3\u53ef\u80fd\u6703\u51fa\u73fe\u62bd\u5230\u6216\u62bd\u4e0d\u5230\u5fc3\u5100\u5b78\u6821\u7684\u60c5\u51b5\uff0c\u4ee4\u4ed6\u5011\u6709\u5fc3\u7406\u6e96\u5099\u8fce\u63a5\u6d3e\u4f4d\u7d50\u679c\uff0c\u6e1b\u5c11\u5230\u6642\u60c5\u7dd2\u5931\u63a7\u7684\u98a8\u96aa\uff1b\u540c\u6642\u4ea6\u53ef\u4ee4\u4ed6\u5011\u660e\u767d\uff0c\u6709\u4e9b\u4e8b\u60c5\u7121\u6cd5\u638c\u63a7\uff0c\u8981\u5b78\u61c2\u5982\u4f55\u63a5\u53d7\u53ca\u8655\u7406\u3002<\/p>\n

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\u7de8\u8f2f\uff1a\u6797\u4fe1\u541b<\/p>\n

https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170529\/news\/_29ydz.jpg\u5c0f\u5fc3\u8655\u7406\u2014\u2014\u5c0f\u4e00\u6d3e\u4f4d\u653e\u699c\u6703\u70ba\u5c0f\u670b\u53cb\u5e36\u4f86\u58d3\u529b\uff0c\u5bb6\u9577\u8981\u5c0f\u5fc3\u8655\u7406\uff0c\u5426\u5247\u53ef\u80fd\u5f71\u97ff\u4ed6\u5011\u9069\u61c9\u5c0f\u4e00\u3002\uff08\u5716\uff1aTomwang112@iStockphoto\uff09;https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170529\/news\/_29YD003_.jpg\u9673\u7a4e\u5100\uff08\u5716\uff1a\u53d7\u8a2a\u8005\u63d0\u4f9b\uff09;https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170529\/news\/_29YD004_X.jpg\u52ff\u4e82\u53e9\u9580\u2014\u2014\u5bb6\u9577\u61c9\u56b4\u9078\u5408\u9069\u7684\u5b78\u6821\u53e9\u9580\uff0c\u907f\u514d\u9762\u8a66\u592a\u591a\uff0c\u589e\u52a0\u5b50\u5973\u7684\u632b\u6557\u611f\u3002\uff08\u8cc7\u6599\u5716\u7247\uff09;https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170529\/news\/_29YD006_.jpg\u9ea5\u6c38\u63a5\uff08\u8cc7\u6599\u5716\u7247\uff09;<\/inline><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

【明報專訊】周六（6月3日）小一統一派位「大抽獎」放榜，又是有人歡喜有人愁的日子。心水學校落空，有些家長即時情緒失控、大哭大罵。一旦家長有強烈的不快或不安反應，孩子看到眼裏，心裏疑惑﹕「是我做錯了？」、「我令媽媽失望！」，或會引爆負面情緒和壓力。<\/p>\n

抽獎夢碎，家長應該如何控制自己的情緒和反應？如何識別情緒有問題的小孩？又應該怎樣開導他們？臨牀心理學家及精神科專科醫生警告，處理不當，不但影響孩子對學校的印象，繼而妨礙學習，更影響他們的情緒發展。<\/p>\n

■家長篇<\/p>\n

父母失控 子女升小更難適應<\/p>\n

在首階段「自行分配學額」未獲派心儀學校的家長，都會對這個周六的派位抱更大期望。獲得首選學校自然可喜可賀；但派到非心儀的學校時，難免感到失望，甚至憤怒及悲傷。香港心理學會註冊臨牀心理學家陳穎儀提醒，心情再差也不應在子女面前顯露出來﹕「小朋友可憑觀看父母的眉頭眼額，感受家長的情緒，令他們覺得『派位是大件事』，會構成壓力，部分小朋友甚至會怪責自己，派不到好學校令爸媽傷心。」<\/p>\n

另外，子女眼見父母的負面反應，便會對學校產生壞印象，「小朋友升上小學，要適應上堂常規等不同事物，本身已一定的困擾；加上對學校早早留下不好印象，先入為主下，當遇到困難，例如要做好多功課，自然更討厭學校，『媽咪都話呢間唔好』，妨礙他們適應小一」。<\/p>\n

請親友陪同睇放榜　隨時照應<\/p>\n

陳穎儀建議，家長於放榜前先要提醒自己，無論如何也要冷靜。放榜當日，不妨請一名親友陪同，如真的感到失望傷心時，靠親友照顧小朋友，自己先去洗手間宣泄不快或不安情緒，避免小朋友目睹家長的負面反應。此時親友應要說正面說話，告訴孩子「爸媽先去洗手間」，別說「媽媽知你派位唔好，好傷心」。<\/p>\n

其實小朋友會從父母身上學習如何處理挫敗感。「遇上挫敗。如果家長情緒失控，出現怪責、憤怒及否定等負面反應，子女日後可能用同樣方式面對挫折。」陳指出，快樂父母自然有快樂的子女，家長就算知道派位不合意時，應抱有一定的胸襟，冷靜地分析，嘗試接納，別道聽塗說別人的評價，先親身與子女了解學校的辦學理念及校舍等，從不同角度認識學校才再計劃下一步，例如是否去其他學校叩門。這樣可以在挫折中找出正面觀念，也可培養子女面對挫折時要從多方面思考。<\/p>\n

叩門大包圍　又累又挫敗<\/p>\n

如果決定去叩門，亦要小心處理。小朋友可能會奇怪，既然有學位為何仍要去面試？應向子女解釋，「我們去看其他學校，會不會像這間般好，看有無其他選擇；不要說『去找間好些的』，否則如叩門又失敗，小孩會感到要讀這間只是次選」。另外，叩門時別「大包圍式」地去不同學校，這不但令子女疲累，影響表現；對自尊心或自信不高的小朋友，可能造成更多挫敗。又或不停叩門時，遇到一間子女好喜歡時，但學校不取錄，挫敗感也會增加。<\/p>\n

面試後多鼓勵 勿狠批<\/p>\n

在叩門前，不少家長希望作最後衝線，訓練小朋友的面試技巧。陳穎儀建議，在日常中以輕鬆手法作模擬面試；不過在訓練前，家長應持開放的態度與子女溝通，了解他們對面試的想法，如果子女抗拒面試，說「我唔想再面試，好憎面試」，先別否定，更別說「你攰我仲攰」等負面說話；反而可以說「多謝你講給我知，媽媽知道及明白，不過我們仍要去面試，不如我們一起想想如何面對，你可以當去和老師傾偈，盡力而為，我們一起努力見埋其他學校」。過程可與子女合力構思應對方法，讓他們分享自己意見，從中也可學習解難方法。叩門面試後亦可說些鼓勵話，好像「你已好努力，又見完老師，一起去食嘢」，別太專注問老師點問你點答等問題，更別批「你這答案不好」。<\/p>\n

陳穎儀補充﹕「別盲目爭取考名校，因為對部分小朋友來說，『在小池塘做大魚，比在大池塘做小魚更好』，因為做大魚易有滿足成功感，不會抗拒學習，可建立自信，自我效能感強，即相信自己會做得好，做得到。情緒好，加強專注力，自然提升學習效能，否則易有焦慮，影響學業。」<\/p>\n

■子女篇<\/p>\n

讓孩子哭個夠　勿安慰「無所謂」<\/p>\n

小一派位放榜，除對家長構成壓力外，其實孩子亦會感到壓力。放榜之日，當得悉未能派獲心儀學校，小朋友亦會難過。精神科專科醫生麥永接指出，不想孩子情緒失控，家長必須先處理自己情緒，減少子女的負面情緒；之後再以同理心了解他們失控原因，才能真正幫他們向前邁進。<\/p>\n

當孩子得知結果後表現失望，甚至哭鬧，有父母可能會立即制止，或安慰他們「無所謂啦」；但麥永接表示，兩個都不是最佳方法，「其實每個人都有情緒，哭鬧是抒發情緒的一種方式，父母若加以阻止，只會令孩子日後不懂抒發情緒。另外，立即向子女表示『無所謂』，會令他們無法說出自己不快的原因，對他們日後學習情緒有更大影響」。<\/p>\n

處理子女負面情緒，麥永接解釋，必須要理解出現情緒問題的主因，才能真正紓解問題，但孩子在哭鬧中途，大部分未能完全表達自己的想法，所以最合適的時機是在他們哭鬧漸減時，再問他因由。派位當日引致孩子情緒失控的原因，估計有以下三種﹕<\/p>\n

1. 所派學校未符合期望<\/p>\n

解決方法﹕這種期望大多由父母或身邊朋友所加諸他們身上，所以必須給小朋友知道，入了這間不符合期望的學校，都一樣可以考取好成績，以紓解他們的憂慮。<\/p>\n

2. 未能與幼稚園同學一起升讀同一小學<\/p>\n

解決方法﹕雖然日後未能與幼稚園的好朋友一同上學，但仍可以透過社交程式溝通，或假日聚會見面，不會從此不再相見。<\/p>\n

3. 結果引致挫敗感<\/p>\n

解決方法﹕向他們解釋小一派位只是一個配對機制，與本人的能力無關，而日後亦可透過其他方法，去考取其他學校的入學資格，毋須覺得自己失敗。<\/p>\n

放榜前講解　做好心理準備<\/p>\n

另外，父母除了在派位後好好處理孩子情緒，麥永接建議在派位結果公布前，先與子女溝通，分別講解可能會出現抽到或抽不到心儀學校的情况，令他們有心理準備迎接派位結果，減少到時情緒失控的風險；同時亦可令他們明白，有些事情無法掌控，要學懂如何接受及處理。<\/p>\n

文：勞耀全、許朝茵<\/p>\n

圖：受訪者提供、資料圖片<\/p>\n

統籌：鄭寶華<\/p>\n

編輯：林信君<\/p>\n

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