{"id":4321,"date":"2017-06-26T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-25T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/?guid=3adc60240f21eca127eed88d36f0783a"},"modified":"2018-08-21T12:15:44","modified_gmt":"2018-08-21T04:15:44","slug":"%e6%9c%80%e4%bd%b3%e7%94%b7%e4%b8%bb%e8%a7%92%ef%bc%9a%e6%b5%81%e6%b7%9a%e7%9a%84%e7%a6%81%e4%bb%a4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/%e6%9c%80%e4%bd%b3%e7%94%b7%e4%b8%bb%e8%a7%92%ef%bc%9a%e6%b5%81%e6%b7%9a%e7%9a%84%e7%a6%81%e4%bb%a4\/","title":{"rendered":"\u3010\u7537\u6027\u5065\u5eb7\u3011\u6700\u4f73\u7537\u4e3b\u89d2\uff1a\u6d41\u6dda\u7684\u7981\u4ee4"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u7121\u53ef\u7f6e\u7591\uff0c\u4ed6\u81ea\u5c0f\u67b6\u8a2d\u7684\u5fc3\u9396\u7684\u78ba\u4f7f\u4ed6\u80fd\u5728\u5de5\u4f5c\u6230\u5834\u4e0a\u6771\u5f81\u897f\u8a0e\uff0c\u4e0d\u7528\u8003\u616e\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u884c\u70ba\u5c0d\u5225\u4eba\u5e36\u4f86\u7684\u50b7\u5bb3\u53ca\u6253\u64ca\uff0c\u6c92\u6709\u6190\u61ab\uff0c\u6c92\u6709\u5167\u759a\uff0c\u9019\u7a2e\u81ea\u7531\u662f\u975e\u5e38\u53ef\u6015\u7684\u529b\u91cf\u3002\u9019\u7a2e\u751f\u6d3b\u4e00\u76f4\u7dad\u6301\uff0c\u76f4\u5230\u4ed6\u7d44\u6210\u7684\u5bb6\u5ead\u51fa\u73fe\u554f\u984c\uff0c\u4ed6\u7684\u5fc3\u9396\u53d7\u5230\u524d\u6240\u672a\u6709\u7684\u885d\u64ca\uff0c\u60c5\u611f\u5c31\u5728\u5fc3\u9396\u7684\u88c2\u7e2b\u4e2d\u9003\u8d70\u51fa\u4f86\u3002\u4ed6\u958b\u59cb\u5f9e\u5167\u5fc3\u611f\u5230\u90a3\u80a1\u96b1\u96b1\u4f5c\u75db\u7684\u611f\u89ba\uff0c\u5c0d\u4ed6\u4f86\u8aaa\u90a3\u662f\u591a\u9ebc\u7684\u6298\u9a30\u3002<\/p>\n

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\u6dda\u6c34\u662f\u5167\u5fc3\u7684\u8aaa\u8a71<\/p>\n

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\u6587\uff1a\u5289\u5b50\u5065\uff08\u660e\u611b\u8cfd\u99ac\u6703\u601d\u9054\u8a08\u5283\u2014\u2014\u7537\u58eb\u793e\u4ea4\u53ca\u60c5\u7dd2\u652f\u63f4\u670d\u52d9\u793e\u5de5\uff09<\/p>\n

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https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170626\/news\/_26yc105.jpg\u773c\u6dda\u5fc3\u88cf\u6d41\u2014\u2014\u300c\u7537\u5152\u6709\u6dda\u4e0d\u8f15\u5f48\u300d\u7684\u6982\u5ff5\u6839\u6df1\u67e2\u56fa\uff0c\u4ee4\u7537\u58eb\u5011\u7fd2\u6163\u96b1\u85cf\u60c5\u7dd2\uff0c\u773c\u6dda\u53ea\u5f80\u5fc3\u88cf\u6d41\u3002\uff08\u5716\uff1awrangel@iStockphoto\uff09;<\/inline><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

【明報專訊】在社會中生活，人們或多或少都依循社會規則及規範，規範相比規則更深入個人性格。從來沒有一道法令規定男士不可以流淚，偏偏在男士心底卻有一個不成文的規範「小心自己的眼淚」。<\/p>\n

我最想的是哭……<\/p>\n

社工問前來求助的阿文最需要是什麼，他慢慢地將眼睛轉過來，呆呆地看着社工說：「我最想的是哭……但我哭不出……」阿文的家庭將近分裂，他的心情絕非三言兩語可以說得清楚。即使可以詳述，阿文也好像無法表達當中的心情，而他的苦只有在扭曲的面容上看得清楚。阿文在年少時便要自力更生，照顧情緒對他是一種奢侈品，回應情感對他也是一種負擔。他為自己架設了很多心鎖以約束內心的感情，否則他是無法承擔嚴苛的世情。<\/p>\n

無可置疑，他自小架設的心鎖的確使他能在工作戰場上東征西討，不用考慮自己的行為對別人帶來的傷害及打擊，沒有憐憫，沒有內疚，這種自由是非常可怕的力量。這種生活一直維持，直到他組成的家庭出現問題，他的心鎖受到前所未有的衝擊，情感就在心鎖的裂縫中逃走出來。他開始從內心感到那股隱隱作痛的感覺，對他來說那是多麼的折騰。<\/p>\n

社工為了啟發阿文，以故事形式複述他從幼年到現在的人生，惟加入他從來沒有提及的人生感受，他對於早年喪親那種徬徨無助是多麼深刻，對於被羞辱那種辛酸苦澀是多麼委屈。阿文第一次從別人口中聽到自己的故事，也第一次聽到自己的心情，邊聽着邊用手掩着臉，發出飲泣抽鼻的聲音。<\/p>\n

淚水是內心的說話<\/p>\n

男士走進輔導室就是要接觸自己的內心世界，而輔導是一個會心的過程，是個案與自己的內心會面。當人能與自己會心的時候，內心有不同的感覺在穿梭湧流，說話便顯得累贅多餘，眼淚與哭聲常是伴隨而來，淚水就是內心的說話，常劃破那沉靜的輔導室。<\/p>\n

文：劉子健（明愛賽馬會思達計劃——男士社交及情緒支援服務社工）<\/p>\n

註：明愛賽馬會思達計劃，「思達」譯自Cedar，即《聖經》中的香柏樹，寓意男士在靈性上的發展與成長之意。<\/p>\n

https:\/\/health2.mingpao.com\/ftp\/Health2\/20170626\/news\/_26yc105.jpg眼淚心裏流——「男兒有淚不輕彈」的概念根深柢固，令男士們習慣隱藏情緒，眼淚只往心裏流。（圖：wrangel@iStockphoto）;<\/inline><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4320,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[29,365,438],"class_list":["post-4321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-4","tag-29","tag-365","tag-438"],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-11-22 13:47:21","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category"},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4321"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4321"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4321\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.afterroberto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}